Will anyone know I’ve come to S-Anon?
No. S-Anon is an anonymous program. At meetings we use our first names only and we do not discuss who we saw at meetings or what people said outside of the meeting.
Can I bring a support person?
S-Anon meetings are generally closed, which means only people who have been affected by another person’s sex addiction can attend.
I’m under 18, can this program help me?
Yes. S-Ateen is designed specifically for younger people who have been affected by another persons sexual behaviour. More information is available at www.sanon.org/sateen
I was sexually abused, can this program help me?
Yes. This program is designed to help people who have been affected by another persons sexual behaviour. We find it does not matter a great deal whether that person was a member of our birth family, a partner, spouse, child, or someone outside the family like a friend, teacher, religious leader, or boss. It does not matter whether we were willing, unwilling, or unknowing participants in the relationship—sex addiction deeply affected our lives.
My partner doesn’t think they are a sex addict, can S-Anon still help me?
If you have been affected by someone else’s sexual behaviour S-Anon can help you – whether that person thinks they are a sex addict or not.
S-Anon gives us tools to take positive action for ourselves, regardless of whether the person who hurt us chooses to recover from their problems. We take positive action to make our lives more serene and fulfilling.
I think my partner is a porn addict, can S-Anon help me?
The sexual behaviour that brings us to S-Anon varies considerably. For some of us it was another person’s pornography addiction. Others were affected by someone who had continual affairs, visited prostitutes, had compulsive sexual fantasies, or who engaged in voyeurism, exhibitionism, or pedophilia. Some of us were raped or otherwise sexually abused.
Whatever the sexual behaviour, in S-Anon you can find recovery for the impact it has had on you.
Is this a religious program?
No. Like all Twelve-Step programs, S-Anon is spiritual, not religious. It is spiritual in the sense that we come to depend upon a Power greater than ourselves to help us to solve our problems and achieve peace of mind. We are are free to define this power as we wish.
S-Anon is for everyone, regardless of their faith, so at meetings we avoid discussion of specific religious faiths, beliefs, and publications (such as the Bible, Koran, etc.). You will hear people use the terms God or Higher Power. S-Anon can work for those who are very religious, and for those who have no formal concept of God.
What will this cost?
There are no dues or fees to be a member of S-Anon. We pass a basket at meetings and people voluntarily contribute what they can afford. The money is used to pay rent for our meeting places, provide S-Anon conference-approved literature for the group, pay for public liability insurance, advertise the group, and to support the work of S-Anon. We do not solicit or accept outside contributions.
How do I get started?
If you decide to seek recovery in S-Anon, you may wish to try the following suggestions which have proven to be helpful to other S-Anon members.
- Attend as many meetings as possible, especially for your first few months.
- Talk to other members, both before and after meetings.
- Exchange phone numbers with members, and keep in touch with at least one other person.
- After you’re sure the program is for you, ask someone who has been in the program for some time to be your sponsor. A sponsor’s role is to help you work through the 12 steps and traditions. They are also someone with whom you can share details, some of which may be either too involved or inappropriate for sharing at meetings, about your situation and your personal feelings and who can provide you with suggestions and guidance in your recovery journey.
- Read conference-approved literature between meetings.
Does my partner have to be a member of Sexaholics Anonymous for me to join S-Anon?
No. Although S-Anon runs conferences in partnership with Sexaholics Anonymous, S-Anon members do not need to know an Sexaholics Anonymous member to qualify.